Monday, 21 August 2006
Things Could Be Weirder, But Why??
Okay, so I have been going through everything in my mind, and everything just keeps happening and I dont know what to do with it. So I talked to Loren and I dont know if he loves me, or if I am just one of those girls that he can pass time with. I know that I messed up, but I just keep thinking that maybe he'll forgive me. Maybe Im being stupid, but I love him and he's my soulmate. But I just think that I am one of those women in his life that he has to have and once he does, he'll be done with me. I know, its stupid, but my fear takes over and I cant think straight.
It started last week, I talked to him and was asking him about everything, and he said that he was feeling better and that he was waiting to see me. I know that he was like whatever, nobody knows me like him, but I am getting off the subject. Then he was like his laptop died and he had my picture up there with alot of other girls. Okay, so no we are not together, and I have no right to tell him what to do, but I cant stand to hear him talk about other women, it hurts. Then I think, maybe they are prettier than me, maybe I dont have what it takes to be in his life. So I think about giving up. Then I cant imagine my lif without him and I go back to him only to go through the same thing over and over again. Why does he get to me like this?
So I dont know, I want to love him, but I cant. I cant stand to think of the fact that my one and only love is gone out of my life, but what should I do? I need help, adivce, something. So, other than that, I have just been keeping myself busy with dance class and work. Im here working now to help out. Oh by the way, can you love someone and then realize that someone else loves you too? How do you deal with that? Well thats all I wanna talk about, later
Posted by monique151802 at 2:34 AM EDT
Updated: Monday, 21 August 2006 2:44 AM EDT