Tuesday, 4 July 2006

Tired Of Lies!
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: missing by evanscence

Okay well lately I have been trying to do things that are best for me. Trying to clean up the mess that I have made. Its just that I dont know what to do next. First off, I dont want to disappoint my dad. I know that he wants me to stay but I cant stay in virginia any longer, I hate this place. Nothing that I do is never good enough here. It isnt like its a big city, or even that I make alot here. I am just miserable. No one cares here. For instance, I had a birthday recently, my family didnt do shit for me here. But for my step sisters birthday, they went all out with all these damn balloons and cards and persents. You know what I got from my family her, 60 dollars. Thats it, not even a damn cake! Just the little shit like that pisses me off. And today, they had a bbq, and didnt even invite me. So I just stayed at home and went to sleep until I had to come to work today. I am so mad.

Second, I cant stand people who think that they can say anything that they want and get away with it. I am so tired of playing 5th rate and a second rate film. Its just that I thought that everything would be different, but I guess I was wrong. Being around people wondering if they truly care about me and they dont. Why do I do this to myself?

I am going back to St.Louis. I cant stand the thought of living the rest of my life here. I might go insane. If I stay here I know for sure that I will try to kill myself again. I dont want to talk anymore. Later

Posted by monique151802 at 11:56 PM EDT

Updated: Wednesday, 5 July 2006 12:08 AM EDT

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